What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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=3

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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