Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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