A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops