What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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A fat guy!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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