What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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