What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down -14

God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Ol-ive

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops