A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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