Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops