When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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