Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Walnut

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is both bold and brash? Fox

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A lot eh?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops