Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops