A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

the sky is green no it is not

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

POOP.....People Order Our Patties

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops