How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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what is orange? an orange

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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