Liars go to hell! -God

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops