87

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CHEEZECAKE

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Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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So a seal walks into a club...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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8=>

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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