What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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potato

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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1+1= 69

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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