Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

thumb_up thumb_down +34

a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Oh...okay, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Jess Burns

thumb_up thumb_down +30

WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Potato salad

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops