Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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james schmitt whats your last name

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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im jewish

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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