Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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Liars go to hell! -God

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops