Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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69

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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Cracked.com the only (depressive) "humor" site.

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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A fish walks into a bar

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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