what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -38

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

thumb_up thumb_down -50

a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +57

some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops