I can't see my forehead

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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why did the chicken cross the road

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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cc

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What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops