How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

thumb_up thumb_down -39

If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

mitt romney

thumb_up thumb_down -77

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

thumb_up thumb_down +100

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops