Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Popsicles

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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live babies

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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