Winking at old people

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

I can't see my forehead

How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

jgkbk,mn

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...