How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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What did the guy say to the mushroom?

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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knock knock go away

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What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops