How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Chuck Norris is a normal man.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What makes the world go round? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Robin, get into the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Military intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

An iguana walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +28

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops