(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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YOU

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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