Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops