The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Beacuse he got kicked out of the bar

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops