Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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every cloud has a silver lining

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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