Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -33

The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

thumb_up thumb_down -33

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops