roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

Your momma's so old she might die soon.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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