What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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