- Anti Joke

A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops