what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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