What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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