Max Head fingered himself, HAH

thumb_up thumb_down -10

james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

thumb_up thumb_down -10

this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's one plus one? 2. Two legit, two legit to quit, hey, hey... What's one plus two? 3. Easy as abc, 123, abc, baby you and me. What's one plus three? 4. hes a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops