Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops