What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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What's white and gluey Glue

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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the WNBA.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Charlie Sheen

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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