How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website?

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops