What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +2

John Cena

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dane Cook makes a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops