Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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Once upon a time a was born

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops