Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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