what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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