A praying mantis is very graceful

There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

Roses are red Im adopted

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

there once was a chicken it was yellow

What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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