Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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