What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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fridge

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops