Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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Error 37.

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops