lewis=cardiac

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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