how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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