There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops