How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops