three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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