What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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