Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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