John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

joe galasso from plainview ny

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +22

6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops