Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

hi charles lattuca III

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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