what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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