How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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